The first lesson you learn in Dating 101 is they always come back. You know the saying, “Men do damage, leave … then reappear.”
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The story is common. You meet a cool guy, have a few good dates, start to really like each other, and then for whatever reason, go months without speaking.
Then, out of the blue, he calls you!
Now, before you go jumping up and down, realize that this return may not include roses and a passionate “I’m sorry.” Although it’s possible that he may genuinely care about how you’ve been, most likely he wants something — a favor, confirmation that he still “has you” or just one last taste of that good-good.
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So, when he sends you that random text message “just to say hi” or comes crawling back to your doorstep, take precaution and tread lightly. Determine what his intentions are then handle the situation accordingly.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
1. Stay Calm
Realize that it’s natural for a man, especially one who has done you wrong, to come back. It’s very similar to how a fugitive returns to the scene of their crime. With knowing this, don’t snap back. If you are angry or belligerent he will see that as confirmation that he still has you wrapped around his finger. So if he’s really calling “just to say hi,” ask him if their is a particular topic that he’d like to discuss. If not, wish him a good day.
2. Play Your Cards Right
It’s very possible that you may want to give him a second chance, and sometimes there’s nothing wrong with that. Be upfront about your intentions and make him work. Let him know if you are looking to rekindle the flame or just have a good time. If it’s a just-one-more-time type of thing, make sure you make him work for it. One random phone call or text message shouldn’t be an easy ticket back into your pants.
3. Be Short and Sweet
There are many reasons why couples loose contact and the fault can fall on both parties. He may have unanswered questions and you may need closure. But before you have a conversation like this, be certain that you want to reopen that can of worms. You don’t owe him anything so don’t feel pressured to go back down that road unless you are whole-heartedly ready.
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