I am a 39-year-old single black mom of three, and a minister. I have been practicing abstinence for almost six years. I met a gentleman that is seven years my senior. He is well established and is also a single parent with a 21-year-old and just received custody of his 13-year-old daughter. We are also co-workers. We became good friends the last four months. He was moving back into his house after two years and I assisted. We spend a lot of time together outside of work. No one knows this at our office. We slept together and have ever since.
I feel convicted and wanted to cut him off. He showed up at my house when I first tried to cut it off, and my kids were there, it kinda threw me off. We spoke the next day and established some borders. He is very controlling and wants to be over everything even in the bed. He asked me to come over after his boys leave the house. I don’t feel like a priority to him lately. He asked me to not go with my friend to lunch and go with him one day and then left with his friend, because he forgot that his friend was waiting for him. Well, I ended the relationship yesterday and I haven’t answered my phone.
So, at work this week he was blowing up my phone and asked me to come over to his cubicle after everyone left and asked me a simple question “are we good?” I didn’t respond like I wanted to so I sent him a text telling him that I didn’t feel like a priority and that we should keep it just co-workers.” He also did things like bring stuff to work, like if I called him and said can you bring something I left at his house. He would bring it and sit it on my desk. But if I did that, it was an argument. I also received a key to the house. I was like what brought that on. He told me to keep the key. I am gonna return that, too. I hope I’m making the right decision.
Listen to Shirley and Steve respond to this letter: